mind debloggers

Is remision being gained@shud I let time bring fourth the remission by itself?shud I weigh on the latter,I somehow wud regard myself as being a procastinator,a fatuOus friend,brother to my very much adorned sis’s,n wholly as a person.

As I have a propensity to mend things up so that they’l bury the hatchet after a couple of days,my endeavour doesn’t seem2b fruitful…I reckon I’m a MR sucker to this pujuk pujuk thingy after all..! Supposingly I tried way too hard until they got weary of me.No wonder I don’t hold any friends nowdays..im nt being sarcastic btw k…

Anyhow,I must give it a try,otherwise,im more susceptible on being defriended(is there such a word?) in which i have the paranoia on losing some of them as my care for them is very much in abundance…everyone deserves a second chance,that i believe on.As

dila once said,rainier is a sick retarded idiot…nw i seriously  think i am…!!!!

i shud hv not trusted anyone…!!!

I was indulging on starbucks coffee n frapps last month…I cud say I will stop by there,if nt hours,it wud b all day long!..crazy I am until my nasal problem cropped up once again,n this was big time4me!!! I had da most excruciating migrain I ever encountered these past 3years,throbbing constantly even after I took ponstant&otha medications prescribed by da doc.doc suspected me of migraine initially,until I went there4da third time in a week,then only she diagnosed me of reccurence nasal blockage,resdung in malay term…THANKS TO MY CAFFEINE&COCO BINGE!!!
as for this time,she prescribed me nasal medications along vf a counter migraine med,sth which possese a more powerfull effect than ponstant,da name,I cudnt remember,its so alien from my vocabulary.
at lea t I’m ok nw…or else must under go a surgery in hkl…! pray that it xhappen once again….or I’m so dead.

Rainy day….sure thing it is a rainy day.nevertheless,this I call the rain of joy…I strolled home under da drizzling,somehow calming,soothing rain I would define it.at that very moment,I was in a euphoric mood.I dunno y,maybe cz my name has da word rain?hahaha…n once again,carrie underwood’s some hearts sang to my ears whilst I’m strollin bk.”I cudnt live a lie”,”some hearts”&”wasted”was those 3songs that flowed into every bit of my veins.
*Out of my concsious,I thought of azira’s concept “the world is beauTiful”…4once,I was ultimately positive on my life,theres much that i can offer to this Bumi,lots of things2b explored&i am not alone.
*my mind was as crystal clear as da blue water underneath da rain clouds.wished i could attain this state of clarity day after day…its tough but anything is possible when we believe in it.go rain,go rain!

Now I’m absolutely,totally blown my head off…I’ve been taking life too serious I guess,but hey shud I put under da gilotin 4it?I dint want to!
That’s it!my brain is goin nuts again,seemingly my fragility of brain management is haunting me once again as usual.y can’t I b persistent into being a positive human bein 4once in my life?too many questions surfaced on my head,its way too perplexing 4me 2solve it by myself.arrrghhhh….!
I’m so uncertain on many aspects but y?there goes again…..aNotha ques!(rainier!,snap out of it)….geez,I’m pretty dumb afterall huh(hey I haven’t got my degree/s yet),isit fair4me2label myself 2such a disgrace?wat da heck…
What I’m currently doin?dUh! Writing this blog on my pda while listening to some old hits..I’m so insane nw,asking myself ques n answering it myself,pretty pretty lunatic this guy.no wonder all r running away from me,fearin of bein “interrogated”by me.hahaha….
#this was written a week or so back,but ony nw I’m publishing it,forgot…)

my cut short leave of initially 10days to 6days(chef mike,u shudnt hv cut my cuti la,hw cud u….arrrggghhhh….,i nid a break too) went great so far.my 1st day?i was in pwtc 44da kl war crimes tribunal conference(thankin dilla for this)…the exhibition is actually very disturbing 4da faint hearted ones.luckily im not!hahaha….unless im there,i wud still b oblivious of da inflictions n the wrath of sanctions 2any country generally,plights by those whom hv been inflicted mentally n physically,hidden agendas by those crooks,known better as da world superpowers n otha issues as well…da most remarkable sight on tat day was aziras n intans zeal,enthusiasm on this sensitive issue(tey recorded da whole proceedings i presume,more or less).salute to those 2gals!

it is tiring 4me,especially when i hafta sit idle most of tym(i hate sitting 4a long period,it makes my muscle motionless)…but on this exception coz of da input tat i gained…i can sit but i must attain sth from it(be it general information,facts,ideas,etc…hey,if got forums,conference,debates,wat so ever do count me in,i lyk these stuffs…

I hv aplenty thoughts n things that I wanna speak out but I’m at sixes n sevens nw…unsure of which chapter I shud mk it da headline 1st…oh gosh….! 2blog on my current life pun so susah….